Is enlightenment for everyone? Honestly I don't know. Over the past month or so I have started to realize how strongly I was attached to answering yes to this question. Now I am seeing that enlightenment is not something to be imposed on anyone. It's much more about really accepting everyone and everything as "it is!" This is it! There is nothing to change only something to experience. From that framework I can be with life and watch change happen like I could never even imagine from the ego-ic and dualistic perspective. It really has become about flow and staying in the context of current life.
As in many areas of my life, my initial enthusiasm creates attachment to obtaining some thought up result or "sharing the wisdom." I historically have jumped into things head first. Even here, from an ego-ic place I am professing that I am an "inspiration" addict. I love seeing inspired movement. On one hand this is passion and love and then it has the tendency to become usurped by ego. Over the past several months my experience has become more quiet and silent. I find myself forgiving more often and not getting as wrapped up in drama of work, home life, mind, etc... The quietness is accompanied with no anxiety and a overall tendency to see and experience the moment. In its true essence I see this waking up as the process of becoming yourself within the context of truth. The truth of non-duality and the letting go of everything but truth.
Yet, only an individual can find what their truth really is... I or no one else has any chance to impose the truth onto anyone else effectively if they are not open/ready for it. Not to mention that there appears from my experience to be levels and processes in which we increase our contact with truth. It comes when it comes and goes through it's own process that I cannot fully explain at this time. I can only say that truth is never what I "think" it is... In this vain I can only share my version of truth and what arises for me. Of course this is done through words and thought that are potentially removed from the truth and at the same time derived from it.
It's a different place to be. The place of non-judgement and non-effort. I have spent so many years trying to be enlightened that I defined myself as "a seeker." What I found is never ending seeking and a process of looking, finding something, attaching to it and becoming dissatisfied again. Only through letting go of the seeking do I experience something more quiet. The seeking became yet another play in the dream of my life. Another chapter of back and forth battle of the mind to escape from, control or avoid the truth. It certainly was more pleasurable than being caught in the fight to make experiences and relationships happen. Yet in the end the substance and satisfaction seems to fall away. Even these words contain the contradiction of the duality of the dream state... They are only my meager attempt to share my experience of surrendering to life and the source. Life is getting more and more quiet as chattering and fighting slows within myself. There is still pull from relationships, situations and outside forces and I continue to let go of resisting this pull. The fear that arises is that chaos could arise. What if I become completely hedonistic? Worse yet, what if I fall asleep at the wheel and life passes me a load of shit or just passes by.. Yet I welcome this fear and go into it without resistance. Pleasure seems to be arising in areas that I did not expect... It fades into the truth and this present moment. A conversation, seing a friend, having dinner with my children, having a moment to myself are new... It's the same but it's different. It's more whole...
As in many areas of my life, my initial enthusiasm creates attachment to obtaining some thought up result or "sharing the wisdom." I historically have jumped into things head first. Even here, from an ego-ic place I am professing that I am an "inspiration" addict. I love seeing inspired movement. On one hand this is passion and love and then it has the tendency to become usurped by ego. Over the past several months my experience has become more quiet and silent. I find myself forgiving more often and not getting as wrapped up in drama of work, home life, mind, etc... The quietness is accompanied with no anxiety and a overall tendency to see and experience the moment. In its true essence I see this waking up as the process of becoming yourself within the context of truth. The truth of non-duality and the letting go of everything but truth.
Yet, only an individual can find what their truth really is... I or no one else has any chance to impose the truth onto anyone else effectively if they are not open/ready for it. Not to mention that there appears from my experience to be levels and processes in which we increase our contact with truth. It comes when it comes and goes through it's own process that I cannot fully explain at this time. I can only say that truth is never what I "think" it is... In this vain I can only share my version of truth and what arises for me. Of course this is done through words and thought that are potentially removed from the truth and at the same time derived from it.
It's a different place to be. The place of non-judgement and non-effort. I have spent so many years trying to be enlightened that I defined myself as "a seeker." What I found is never ending seeking and a process of looking, finding something, attaching to it and becoming dissatisfied again. Only through letting go of the seeking do I experience something more quiet. The seeking became yet another play in the dream of my life. Another chapter of back and forth battle of the mind to escape from, control or avoid the truth. It certainly was more pleasurable than being caught in the fight to make experiences and relationships happen. Yet in the end the substance and satisfaction seems to fall away. Even these words contain the contradiction of the duality of the dream state... They are only my meager attempt to share my experience of surrendering to life and the source. Life is getting more and more quiet as chattering and fighting slows within myself. There is still pull from relationships, situations and outside forces and I continue to let go of resisting this pull. The fear that arises is that chaos could arise. What if I become completely hedonistic? Worse yet, what if I fall asleep at the wheel and life passes me a load of shit or just passes by.. Yet I welcome this fear and go into it without resistance. Pleasure seems to be arising in areas that I did not expect... It fades into the truth and this present moment. A conversation, seing a friend, having dinner with my children, having a moment to myself are new... It's the same but it's different. It's more whole...
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